Still here

I weighed in at 205 lbs again this Saturday, which is better than I expected.

I followed it up immediately by taking on the buffet at a wedding with some serious gusto.

So, things are still not exactly on track but I have at least decided on a new strategy, which is really the old strategy that I forgot about when I got so excited about the 200 mark being in reach.

In a word: Slow.

I have been steadily losing about 15 lbs a year for the last 3 years. This glacial pace works for me. It involves frequent bouts of wine drinking, chocolate eating, and carb bingeing along with the veggies and lean meats. It is definitely not the recommended Weight Watchers approach, and I can't say that I recommend it either. But, it's the only thing I seem to be able to do with any consistency, probably because it doesn't require any consistency.

But somehow, when I saw the 190's in reach, I decided I needed to sprint. The frustration and the over-eating that followed has quickly reminded me that sprinting is not going to work for me in the long term. So, I'm back to the snail's pace, and my new goal is 204 lbs. If I get there this week, great. If not, next week is fine.

I am f7ing this up

Since my disappointment in last week's results, I've been deviating from the plan almost every day. I thought I would be able to maintain a rational, common sense, 'slow and steady' outlook but as it turns out -- not so much. I have no doubt that this week's numbers are going to be up.

I think I have become a bit obsessed with the idea that I need to get under 200, and I need to get under 200 NOW. My impatience to get to that goal has become a barrier to reaching it. So I will not be weighing myself anymore except on Saturday mornings and see if that helps.

This weight loss stuff is HARD!!

Seriously?

I did have a great week last week, but only lost an underwhelming .6 lbs to put me at 205.2 lbs. I was kind of frustrated, but this is the way it sometimes happens with me, and next week I should see a bigger loss (my body is on a 1 week delay where it likes to make sure I'm really serious before going to the trouble of actually getting rid of weight).

I just need to make sure I don't go eating the whole fridge out of annoyance and "nothing works anyway" thinking. For insurance, I went out and bought myself a great red and white dress for a wedding I am going to next week and it is so tight there is not much room for error. If it's a buffet, I might really be in trouble.

Exception

Okay, so I temporarily forgot that bread has sugar added to it, so until I can get to the stall at the Farmer's Market on Saturday where they sell sugar free bread, I'm going to make 100% whole wheat bread an exception to the no sugar added rule. There is no way I'm giving up bread - that's just crazy talk.

Other than that, the plan is going pretty well - I already feel a lot better and I'm definitely back in the groove.

Here we go again

Yikes! I was 205.8 lbs at WW this morning - so needless to say the whole back on track thing is still in the works. I couldn't seem to resist the sweets this week - again. It's time to get back to the basics and set some guidelines. To help me stick to the guidelines I'm going to write them down. I do best when I'm taking things day by day, week by week so this is what I'm going to do this week:

1. I will not eat foods that have any added sugar (or drink anything with added sugar). Natural sugar is fine, such as fruits or no sugar added jam.
2. I will drink more water - at least 6 glasses at home, plus my water bottle (about 750ml) at work every day.
3. I will not eat anything deep-fried.
4. I will not eat any cheese.
5. I will make an effort to down size my portions, paying attention to when I'm full.

Not exactly earth-shattering, but if I stick to this I'll be eating natural and healthy foods in reasonable quantities and that is my main goal.

On the exercise front, I've been restricted for a couple of months now due to my back problem (one herniated and one bulging disc). I do daily physio but otherwise I have to be really careful and take it easy, and I find it really frustrating. The back is starting to heal and hopefully I will not need to have surgery, but it's a really slow process. In August (at least as compared to July) I did manage to increase my flexibility and endurance a bit for simple things like sitting, walking and standing. This week I tried a Pilates DVD which everyone tells me is great for the back and I've done that twice - or tried to. For now, I'm going to keep the exercise to the physio, stretching and doing this DVD 3 times a week.

If I stick to the above, I know I'll have better results to report next week. Stay tuned...

Hershey's Kiss of Death

Continuing on the theme of chocolate sabotage, I had a very healthy day today until I went to the movies and soon found myself in the dark scoffing Reese's Pieces like they were going out of style. Which they really should be - I don't even really like Reese's Pieces! They are just the least offensive Hershey's brand chocolate available.*

Which brings me to something I have often lamented - why does Hershey's have such a stranglehold on movie chocolate? It is by far my least favourite brand of chocolate, and yet I find myself eating it at least once a month and paying a ridiculous amount of money for it because it is all that is available at the movies. (My self-delusion that I will one day go to the movies and NOT eat chocolate prevents me from planning ahead and bringing something else.)

So, no need to say that things continue down the slippery slope and if I don't put the brakes on soon I'll be undoing all my hard work in no time. But besides the Reese's Pieces, I did do fairly well today and I feel ready to give it a good effort again. It's all stops and starts but at least the stops seem to be getting shorter - fingers crossed.

(*A quick visit to the Hershey's website reveals that amongst all the other crap, they are responsible for the Kit Kat. I would like to make it clear that I in no way include the Kit Kat in my general rant against Hershey's -the Kit Kat is a truly delightful confection. But why the hell is it not available at the movies?)

Chocolate Sabotage

I've noticed a trend where I will only allow myself to make about 15 pounds of progress at a time. Its like my body/mind needs a good 6 months plus to accept that loss and get ready to push further. I was stuck at around 230-235 for probably almost a year, putting in a half-assed effort that allowed me to maintain, but not lose any further. Then once I finally got below 230 it was no trouble getting down to 215 - followed by another 8 months plus of maintaining at that weight. Finally I pushed through to where I am now, just over 200, and I am finding the same sabotaging behaviour creeping in.

Let me clarify that I don't mean I am bravely persevering through plateaus - I mean that when I have some success, a part of my brain goes, "Cue the constant chocolate eating, the failing to plan, and the general messing around or I might actually lose this weight!" I guess I could call it a "motivational plateau".

I think that I am not quite ready to get under that 200 lb mark, although I'm not sure why. As soon as that became a realistic short term goal with a bit of good effort for a couple of weeks, I automatically reached for the muffins and the chocolate. It could be that I just like to sprint, then rest, then sprint again, and as long as I'm not gaining it all back its not really so bad. Or it could be that I'm afraid of reaching my goal - because then what would I do?